A Summary of Life's Rich Pageantry

I suppose that it's about time I make some semblance of a formal discussion of the chosen career paths/life changes that have swept through the existence of Yours Truly and his frankly much more stable fiance Bri. So here goes.

January. I took the qualifying exam in Analysis. The way the quals work in my department is that you are required to take two separate exams: One in Algebra, the other in Analysis. A single exam usually consists of 6 questions (usually two or three parts per question), and you are allotted four hours to take the exam. There are no tutors, no study sessions, and nothing standardized about it. The only study guide we get is a sheet of paper with a list of topics and the last ten years of qualifying exams to compare, and the only way to study is to read as many books as you can get your hands on, and do as many problems as you can.

Then you go in, you take a test, and that's it. The closest analogy that I can think of is that of law's BAR exams, except in no way standardized--it's just four people putting problems that they think are worth doing together, and throwing them at the students whose poor fate it is to take it. There were twenty or so students who took it, and most of us failed. Not, as it turned out, because we didn't know our subject, or because we somehow needed to study more, or because we needed help with some topic or another--half the time we're expected to pull those same writers out from their own holes--but because we were doing one of two things: not thinking in exactly the same way as the writers, or not writing the answer in exactly the same way as the writers. I came to the conclusion, looking at my score report, and comparing it with my answers, that I will not pass this exam as long as these people are responsible for writing it. I do not think in the same way that they do, and I do not write in the same way that they do, and until I do, I will.not.pass. End of story.

So I failed. And then I moved on. My anger at the powers-that-be has not subsided (as you can probably tell), but I moved on. Permanently. In an abrupt about-face I decided it would be better if I was not in mathematics with these people. Having a Master's in Applied Mathematics as of May, and having taken nearly all the courses that I'm actually interested in taking, I resolved to pursue what was pretty much going to be my career anyway, which is that of computer science. So I applied to the Computer Science department here, in order to pick up a second Master's Degree in Computer Science. No more ph.D. for me--at least, not that I can determine.

This was actually coming for a long time, despite this story. I had been debating with Bri for several months prior about how useful or even helpful a ph.D. would be in working towards my actual goal. Though I am excited about Numerical Analysis, I love implementation--That is, actually creating something that I can program, rather than spending hours over a chalkboard proving something that we already know is true. I want to program them..One of my major goals is to create a new Scientific Computing package (there hasn't been a truly NEW one for about 25 years now) And while I love mathematics, and always will probably be reading math books, I no longer have ANY desire to enter into the world of childish antics and juvenile ego-trips that consists of Academia. This department pretty quickly beat that out of me, and I'm honestly grateful for it--I would hate myself if I turned into one of these people.

So that's the current plan. Bri has two more years to finish her Master's in Public Policy and her Law Degree, and possibly a few more if she decides to get her ph.D. in Public Policy, and so it's convenient for me to stick around here and take some courses in a different subject, which will help me find a job anyway. Thus, a masters' of Science in Computer science.

So that's it. Explanation for those who may have been more or less confused about the current career swing, and why it might be happening. Or at least an explanation. It's really not all that relevant to existence as a whole, but the most useful thing for me right now is that I be able to put this shit(excuse the french) behind me so that I can get on with my life, and can accomplish what I actually WANT to accomplish, rather than waste another 6 useless months trying to jump through a hoop with no relavence or importance. So I write this, cathartically, in the hopes that I can put it away and concentrate on something else for once.